This year was so classic. A hit back to back. I learnt a whole lot. It was the year I came of age. Everything happened. It started off like just another year, toward the middle, i fell in love with a con man, got hurt, dwelt on the hurt, got consumed by anger and contemplated ending my life. The pain was so damn real that it stabbed me contineously. I had never attempted falling that deep and with time i began to fray mentally. I cried to sleep, woke up and start crying again.
One day i feared going to my house at school because rent was cheap and i lived alone. I knew that i will self harm if i did. So i sought help, talked to a clinical psychiatrist for six long hours and he sent me home to my mother.
Oh, the long nights! How my mum prayed like a mad woman, encouraged, petted, became frustrated, held tight unto hope. It was a struggle! Her eyes followed my movements, quickly coming in if she sensed despair.
I bore all with grace, praying, hoping, talking to trusted friends, making new ones.
I was so damn bitter, because i had been so sure about the whole love thing, letting go of common sense in some circumstances. Oh, how much i suffered. My weight dropped, I was almost running mad.
One thing i learnt this year is that bitterness and anger is not necessarily a bad thing. Just like jealousy, its two pronged, it can make or mar you. My own made me. With that frenzy of bitterness, i began seeking to be better, looking for opportunities. Loving someone showed me how incredibly vulnerable i was, so i sought fulfilment and excellence.
Inspite of everything, I survived. Not only did i survive, i had a major victory. I have no doubts that if it goes well, the rest of my life will be so damn colourful that it will blind onlookers. When i look at how quickly my life changed and the way God almighty consoled me, i have no doubt about the fact that “a minute can change”
One morning i woke up scared and disturbed, the next minute i got a call that had the momentous capacity to change my life forever. Oh, how strong i have been. Not many people will pursue excellence the way i did even under immense emotional and psychological break down. Look, the future is so bright, i have never been as sure about it as i am today. Thank you friends for being my strengths. There are so many of you who support without judging, encourage without ceasing and offer hope. I have not forgotten. God bless you! I am still taking gifts. I am happy.
Happy birthday to me,
Immaculate, life will be kind to you. God has made everything beautiful. Rejoice!
Ada Bill Gates
Beautiful inside out!
Jesus has loved you!
He will not leave you nor forsake you.
Twenty two and happy!