It is funny how things have changed, its amusing how everything is just ok

It is funny how things have changed, its amusing how everything is just ok. Sorry if you send messages and i dont reply. I am trying to accept the reality of taking drugs for my appparent unhappiness.
For close to a month, i have battled defined bad thoughts, full blown chronic deppressive states. Unending, for four weeks.
Now the doctor says he would have to put me on medication
I did not know this is how people float till insanity. Social media has become an escape, my only source of fun. Meanwhile i am not even supposed to be here. I dont even have money to buy the drugs so i dont know the cost.
God help me. Personally, i am tired. As a person, in flesh and blood, i am just so bitter, crushed entirely. My mum has tried too. I dont know what to do. Mental illness and instability is no joke, I have seen it. Every aspect of my life just crashed. Breathing became too laborious.
God help me. Dont blame me much. I dont have any friends, this is the only place i can at least say what i am thinking. I want to be happy. I dont want to die young even if i just have to breathe from day to day. Everything i have written here was to make myself happy. It was not to garner pity or joke with people’s emotions. The only family member i have is my mum. Sometimes she tries her best. God help me.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *