It is funny how things have changed, its amusing how everything is just ok. Sorry if you send messages and i dont reply. I am trying to accept the reality of taking drugs for my appparent unhappiness.
For close to a month, i have battled defined bad thoughts, full blown chronic deppressive states. Unending, for four weeks.
Now the doctor says he would have to put me on medication
I did not know this is how people float till insanity. Social media has become an escape, my only source of fun. Meanwhile i am not even supposed to be here. I dont even have money to buy the drugs so i dont know the cost.
God help me. Personally, i am tired. As a person, in flesh and blood, i am just so bitter, crushed entirely. My mum has tried too. I dont know what to do. Mental illness and instability is no joke, I have seen it. Every aspect of my life just crashed. Breathing became too laborious.
God help me. Dont blame me much. I dont have any friends, this is the only place i can at least say what i am thinking. I want to be happy. I dont want to die young even if i just have to breathe from day to day. Everything i have written here was to make myself happy. It was not to garner pity or joke with people’s emotions. The only family member i have is my mum. Sometimes she tries her best. God help me.