Bia, come o! What are we even doing?
I pity Nigerian men o
A lot of them go through stuff like this frequently yet dont even talk about it. A lot of women are not ready for relationships. The larger society tells the eighteen year old that she is ready because she is a woman. All she has to do is cook, bear children and open her legs to be knacked. Thats all.
I am not therefore surprised when women with poorly developed emotional stance and sense of responsibility get into relationships and fail to accomodate their partners. Because of the already estalished and over simplified roles, there is little room for compromise, real time kindness and true love.
In my first relationship, i was looking for plenty doses of kindness. Not money, not gifts, not any ephemerals. I just wanted somebody who would treat me with genuine kindness and empathy. I was vocal about it from the beginning. Yet he still failed to offer it to me. Why?
He had simplified my needs to calls, paltry sums and all other inconsequential stuff. It is important that while we raise women who are badass cooks, virgins but porn stars, laundromats, housekeepers, rabbitty birthers and caregivers that we also teach them emotional intelligence, genuine kindness and what love actually is.
The lady who broke these things never loved this man. She was just there for the benefits and then she was scared someone would come and enjoy what she had been enjoying. This house does not look like the owner earns 50k. Do your mental assessment. So she chose to destroy most if not all of it. No matter what he did, he did not deserve this.
In many relationships in Nigeria, people are in it for several bad or ineffective reasons. People dont marry who is kind to them and loves them enough to still protect them even in anger, they go for the rich, the pretty, the bla bla.
In the end, this may be one of the results. The girl who did this is a potential killer, a very defined physical abuser.
Stop oversimplifying what you desire in a partner. If you find a partner who is kind to you and values your life, stick to them. She must not be porn star, world class chef or astute housekeeper. These are teachable skills. You can teach her sex styles, cooking and housekeeping easily. But its harder to make someone who is unkind become kind.
If she does not love and protect you, she wont start anytime soon.