You are wanting to be my boyfriend?
Awwn! Cool stuff. Apart from being a fear fear and a confirmed unapologetic jerk, i will not be able to ask you for money, knowingly take from you or take your gifts. I learnt this behaviour from experience this year. I will know from the beginning that you owe me nothing, so i will not be reminded at last if it goes sour.
If you want to marry come and marry, i dey kampe. Then you will be justified. Even then, i might still find it hard to actually ask for help when i need it.
This may frustrate you but i have no choice. Its a form of shield for me. So when and if you go away, there would be no need to remind me of every kobo you spent. That shit would hurt more than the actual walking away you will do. I am not ready for a repeat of that. We will keep a neutral ground as much as possible. I wont stop you if you want to marry me. But if you toss money in my face, i wont take it. I might refuse taking even gifts.
It may be a bit justified if we have a kid or kids and you spend on them and then it gets to me. If we do not have kids and have no joint investments, Oga biko hold your money. It may sound mean or out of place. But i want peace within. In few years time, i am going to be one hell of an independent lady. A lot is going to change. There has been a lot of unlearning and relearning recently. Dear future boyfriend, apart from emotional fulfilment and support, you actually owe me nothing. Nothing at all. Unless if we marry and have kids who you by all means have to support. That is actually why you will be there, to help me raise the kids by being actively involved.
I did that damsel in distress shit before, i learnt that in many relationships money is a whole new different spirit. The results of its presence in an equation is differently percieved. Some people keep active logs on how much money they have spent on their partners only to remind them at last.
You want to be financially involved in my life without stress, here is what you can do:
Just come respectably and marry me if you must and let us make babies. Then inadvertantly, i can take your gifts and not blink or accept your efforts at being good to me or to the kids.
Or just give me babies and make good commitment to their welfare. Then i can close my eyes and enjoy all that you offer.
As long as we are dating and flat. Not married, with no kids binding us, kuku keep ya money. I dont want anybody talking about how much they have spent on me. You leave, i leave with my true dignity in tact.
I know i might look like a crack head with this, but our experiences make us crazier than we think.