The fact that I have never celebrated a Valentine’s day hits me each time its drawing closer each year. Last year brought a lot of confusion regarding what I really wanted out of life in relationships especially with men. There has been a lot of redefinitions, learning, rebuilding and rediscovery.
Contrary to what most people think, I like being on my own. I come here to make noise and retreat to my shell. I have no real time friends apart from family.
I may seem desperate here for company but when company now comes, I will run. I am my own company. I talk about men all the time but I am just too fine without one. Letting one get close almost cost me my life. My mind tells me I don’t need all that rollercoaster just because I want to fit into society. I am questioning the benefits of social demands of marriage. Must I bond, breakup, chant love with as many men as I can before finding someone to marry?
Is it important?
My word is my bond, when I love you, its forever unless if you now begin to despise me. So I don’t know how people shift from person to person with same feelings. Aren’t we all lying to each other?
Is it really important?
If a man says he loves me now, I may be tempted to ask “wait, how many sex styles do you want?
Because that is what it really is. Its all games and motives. People can hurt you and still have expectations on how you have to react to show ” maturity”
Its all for love. For those who think they have found true love, you must have been very lucky. Its in a week, just like any normal day. If you are alone, then be happy. Nobody loves you like you. Treat yourself to what you really like. Love, to me is crispy fried chicken. That’s what I will eat that day. The oil on my mouth and fingers will reassure me of all I have, that’s me. I only have me. Every other person, thing, object will come and go.